Fade Away
by bleedingcherry
Summary: Imagine you are falling. A hand reaches out to catch you. The moment you reach back the hand disapears. You fall. What is real? What is visionary? ... Whats the difference? possibility for ZADR in later chaps.
1. A Manifestation

**A/N: **New story everyone. I kind of like where this is going so I have decided to continue it. **Warning! This story _might_ contain ZADR in later chapters. Right now I'm still not quite sure where I want to take this story.**

"**Escape: Subject to Madness" **

**by Hanely Acosta**

"_A box in a box in a box,"_

_And I within the smallest._

_I hear the closing of the locks._

_As my mind, inside it's shell, mocks_

The screaming in my soul is earnest:

"_A box in a box in a box."_

_Or perhaps I am held in the stocks._

_I don't know which is saddest._

_I hear the closing of the locks._

_They are free to fly over road blocks._

_I wish for my voice to be the loudest:_

"_A box in a box in a box."_

_My vessel awaits at the docks._

_To reach it I must be the strongest._

_I hear the closing of the locks._

_Racing, against the chiming clocks._

_Voice and mind louder, though my hope is brightest:_

"_A box in a box in a box,"_

_I hear the closing of the locks._

**Summary so far:** Zim is gone. Why? How? We don't know. Dib is left behind to wade in his sorrow. But how much despair can the mind handle? After a while he begins to crack. What is real? What isn't real? How do you know when to draw the line?

**Fade Away **

**By Bleeding Cherry**

_**Chapter 1:**_

**A Manifestation**

_It's hard to believe that all we've been through has amounted to nothing. The memories will always bind me to those days we spent, for what seemed like forever, chasing each other. Playing nothing but a simple game. I had never thought that the day would come for it all to end. Everything we had is what defined me as myself. And without you, that special part of me, I feel lost within myself. _

_The days seem to go by so slowly now. Days ago feel like weeks ago, weeks ago feel like months ago and so on. And yet years ago seem like yesterday. All those times… And you. It feels like you're right here with me. …But you're not._

_It isn't fair. I didn't even have time to say goodbye._

_Everyday I go to school, watching everyone walk by my bus stop. Seeing all those faces make me wonder… how can the world just simply carry on without you in it? You were the world to me. Everything I had ever believed in… It was all you. _

_All those times I had chased you… and all those times you had run away screaming about some new plan to conquer my world… Those were the days I had truly been happy. I was just too selfish to realize. I look back and I can still feel their icy stares. But I would put up with their ignorance for all eternity if I could just have you back._

…But that's just it. How could we possibly go back to the way it used to be? Even if by some miracle you happened to come back. I feel too different now, wounded too deeply. There's only so much time can erase…

Dib leaned back in his chair and sighed deeply. He eyes scanned over the journal entry he had just typed on his laptop. It had now been 3 years since Zim had left, three long years. And over those three long years Dib had changed. He no longer spoke. Not at home and not at school, only on occasion to ask to use the rest room. Otherwise dib kept eerily silent. Few emotions could be read on his face. Despair… regret… and heavy loss. No one recognized him now. His silence allowed him to remain invisible through most of the day. Even the other children who had usually picked on him for the mere pleasure of hearing him scream or cry ignored him. Dib without Zim… just wasn't Dib. That spark in his honey brown eyes no longer flashed. His determined gaze was no longer held. His smile was nothing but a distant memory. And his sanity…

Hello Di-BUH.

…Fading.

He could still hear his voice. It was so clear. He rolled his eyes. "What do YOU want…?" he asked aloud.

You're talking to yourself you know…

"No I'm not. Its sounds like…"

Denial Dib. Denial.

"But it sounds like yo- him…"

You gave me this voice. Remember? I just used to be a silent unrecognizable voice manifested in your subconscious. It was your decision to make me sound like him. Not a wise choice if I may say so Dib.

"Why would that be considered unwise?"

The voice was hesitant with its reply. You DO realize that that you ARE talking to yourself.

"You just said that before. And fine. So what if I am?"

That's unhealthy Dib human. It could be quite possible now that you ARE… **Insane.**

"WHAT! NO!" he was having flash backs of seventh grade. He could hear their evil voices pounding on his ears.

"You're CRAZY."

"Hey look! The CRAZY U.F.O. kid!"

"Yeeeaaah… He's pretty CRAZY."

"We've decided that you're…INSANE."

"My poor INSANE son…"

But he was never insane… not back then. Not now. …Right?

Ooooh. The voice seemed to be enjoying Dib's current suffering. Why so quick to defend? It asked, pushing on Dib's mental capacity like some kind of twisted psychiatrist.

Dib said nothing but cradled his head in his arms, his fingers digging into his skull. He pulled his legs to his chest in a fetal position in his chair. The voice pressed on.

Poor little Dib… Always so weak… I always knew it would be I who would end up victorious. For a moment Dib could almost see Zim's evil zipper tooth grin.

"Stop trying to be him." Dib said coldly. "You could never be him."

Ah, yes. True, very true. But that wasn't my decision. …Now was it? There was so much malice in the voice, so purely evil, **too** evil in fact.

"I didn't GIVE you his voice…" Dib started. "One day you just kind of sounded like him… But I know you aren't him. You could never be." Dib added defensively.

Then you admit that there just might be that small possibility that you're loneliness grew so strong you created a voice inside your head that resembles the one thing you knew mattered in your pathetic life.

"NO. I **said **I **didn't **give you any voice. You just… showed up."

Ha! It laughed. That's just like you, Dib, defiant to the very end. However I do admit that was your most stunning characteristic.

"Shut up Zim." Dib quickly slammed his hands over his mouth once the realization of what he had just said hit him.

The voice (or… Zim?) was silent for a moment before it spoke. Oooh… Bad move Dib.

Dib understood why what he had just said could be considered a bad move. Talking to this… thing as if it were Zim could only lead to denial, denial of Zim's death, and from denial to insanity. Dib was smart enough to know this thing was toying with him. The worst thing he could do was give it power. To respond when it spoke.

"I'm not talking to you. I'm ignoring you."

Ha. I'd **love **to see that.

"You don't think I can do it?"

Well you certainly aren't progressing much.

Dib scowled and turned to glare at himself in the mirror. "What ARE you?"

Don't be s- What? The question seemed to catch the voice off guard.

His reflection glared back and without Dib's permission his lips curled into an evil malicious smile resembling that of a little green alien's. His voice spoke on it's own.

"I'm **you**."

END CHAP 1

Well now, that wasn't TOO bad. R&R people! Btw if youre wondering how this will be connected to JTHM IFS and SQUEE! Just be patient I'm getting to that. Oh yeah btw just so you know Dib lives in the same neighborhood as Todd and Johnny. Oooooh I gave hints! (cackles)

-Cherry


	2. Fantasy is of Reality

**Fade Away**

**By Bleeding Cherry**

**Chapter two:**

**Fantasy is of Reality**

Dib pressed his palm to the shower wall balancing him self so that he wouldn't fall over. He blinked several times as the heated droplets attacked and stung his eyes. He felt the moister in the air cling to his skin. He felt nauseous and his head felt like led. He slowly allowed himself to slide down the wall and he gently sat on the floor of the tub. He examined his shaking hands. Looking at them over and over and over again. After thirty minutes he finally pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around himself.

Something salty trickled into his mouth and he realized he was crying. Through all these months his body refused to cry. His mind had begged and begged but they're cries had fallen on deaf ears. Now for the first time in a year he was crying. He decided to take full advantage and he let out all the sobs that had been locked away. He cried for so long he forgot what he had been crying about. Finally hours later the tears stopped flowing and Dib sat in silence letting the now freezing water hit his head and trickle down his back.

Something that sounded like plastic hit the floor. It was most likely a toothbrush. Dib's ear twitched. He turned his head. There was a shadow on the wall. The shadow was shaped like-

"ZIM!" Dib quickly tore down the shower curtain not caring that he was completely naked… save for his glasses. There standing right in front of him was… nothing. Absolutely nothing. There wasn't even anything on the floor.

Suddenly the water stopped running. The whole bathroom became eerily silent. Dib just stood there. Trying to comprehend the entire situation. Then he heard him laugh. And it echoed. It bounced off the walls and Dibs head turned violently as if trying to follow it. Dibs gaze finally stopped shifting and he found himself staring at the center of the bathroom. He was there right in front of him. His red orbs narrowed into tiny little slits.

"Hello Dib." He said. There was nothing in his voice. No malice no sympathy. Nothing.

He took a step toward Dib. A teasing smile plastered on his face. Dib didn't react. He just stood there. He wasn't even sure he was in his body anymore. He felt as if he was just watching the scene unfold from above as if he had floated out of his own body.

Zim came closer. His teasing smile turned to more of a pout. "What's wrong Dib? Aren't you glad to see me?" He came closer. Closer. Closer. Till his body was only centimeters away from that of the naked human's. His red orbs filled with worry. He lifted a gloved hand and held it up to the human's face. Dib watched himself watch Zim slowly pull his sleek rubber ebony gloves off revealing his mint green flesh.

Dib was then suddenly sucked back into his body. He barely had any time to reflect on what it had felt like because all he could concentrate on was Zim caressing his right cheek with his naked claw. He was touching him. And he could feel it. His green skin was perfectly smooth but there was no shine. Irkens did not sweat. They had no pores. Not any kind of texture to their skin. It was a smoother than glass. It was so smooth it almost hurt. Zim's fingertips sent electric shocks all through out his body. Dib winced.

The alien smiled uncharacteristically warm and cupped the human's cheek with his palm. "Hello Dib." He repeated.

Dib's mind was now racing. He was sure it had stopped and was now desperately trying to catch up with reality. How could this possibly be real? He could feel everything. He could feel Zim's breath on his lower lip, he could feel Zim's little red outfit slowly brush against his bare chest, he could feel Zim's cool palm resting gently on his cheek. What was going on?

Dib suddenly flinched as he detected movement from Zim's hand. Zim slowly raised his thumb and rested it under Dib's eye. Zim then leaned in forward and whispered in Dib's ear.

"This is so you won't forget me." Even though Zim's mouth was practically touching his ear his words were barely audible. But Dib heard them all the same.

"I could never forget you." He whispered back slightly surprising himself.

Zim then looked back into Dib's honey colored eyes longingly. Dib then felt unexpected pressure under his eye that soon turned into a painful sting. Zim was dragging his claw down Dib's cheek tearing his flesh. Despite how painful that really was Dib barely even squeaked. Zim then stepped back a good five feet and waved.

"Goodbye Dib."

Dib blinked. _Wait! Stop! _"No!" Dib squeaked out. He looked up just in time to see the fleeting form of Zim disappearing into the air. He took a step forward but then began to feel dizzy. His vision began to go black. The last thing he saw was Zim's large red eyes dissolving into nothingness.

Dib later awoke finding himself still in the shower. He immediately examined his surroundings. The curtains that he had torn were perfect. There were no wet spots on the floor were he had stood. Even the water was still running. Dib sighed. He slowly turned the shower knobs and the soft pounding of running water on the bathtub floor ceased. He clumsily picked up his legs and hopped over the rim of the tub. He pulled a towel off one of the rungs and dried himself off. He walked toward the sink reaching for a toothbrush when he stopped. He looked in the mirror that was placed right above the sink. He lifted a shaky hand toward his cheek gently stroking the long red scar beginning right beneath his right eye.

End chapter two.

A/N: yay! Well that took long enough. Well now what do you think? Was that Dib hallucinating or was that REAL! is this romance or some really weird stuff! Yay for confusion!


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